What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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