I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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