He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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