i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
