you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
