It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
