ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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