I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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