C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
