Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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