I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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