Grow some girl-balls and come out already
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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