Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
