You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
