Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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