Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Last time i carry you out of a forest
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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