you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
