Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize