You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
