Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
