I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
