Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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