Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
