I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
