So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize