aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize