God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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