is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
