talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
