hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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