nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
