you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
