Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
