covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
