I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
a search helicopter?!
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
