I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
