Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
