So drunk, too bad you don't want this
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
