Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
