Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
