its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
