I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
