Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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