i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
