You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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