I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize