Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
