Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Randomize
