Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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