You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
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dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
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Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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