Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he thought i was a dude.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize