I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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