can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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