It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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