His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
