The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
