i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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