plz talk dirty to me
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Randomize
